Resource Toolbox

Last activity on July 17, 2024

Emotional Intelligence

The Personality Lab offers a great Emotional Intelligence measurement that you can use to identify some of your unproductive behaviors and next-level behaviors you desire to develop. Here are some excerpts from their assessment.

What is emotional intelligence, and how is it measured?

The ability to sense, control, and assess emotions defines emotional intelligence (EI). Some teachers believe emotional intelligence can be learned and improved, whereas others think it’s a natural attribute. It is essential for people to be able to understand and manage their emotions. However, it is also vital to be able to perceive, interpret, and respond to the feelings of others. Imagine a world in which you could not tell that a fan was sad or that a coworker was upset. Emotional intelligence is a term that psychologists use to describe this capability. Several specialists believe EI is more important than IQ regarding overall life success.

The five elements of emotional intelligence are:
 Self-awareness. Self-regulation. Motivation. Empathy. Social skills.

Components & Degrees of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional perception, the ability to reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotions, and the ability to control one’s emotions: 

These are the four degrees of emotional intelligence.

  • -Perceiving emotions: The first step in comprehending emotions is to perceive them appropriately. In many instances, understanding nonverbal signs such as body language and facial expressions may be required.
  • Emotion-based reasoning: The next stage involves using our emotions to enhance our thinking and cognitive activity. Emotions aid in prioritizing what we pay attention to and react to; we emotionally react to things that catch our attention.
  • -Understanding emotions: Our perceptions of emotions can have a wide range of meanings. If someone is displaying extreme anger, the observer must determine what is causing the person’s wrath. If your supervisor is enraged, it might be because they are dissatisfied with your work, because they received a speeding ticket on their way to the office that morning, or because they have been arguing with their partner.
  • -Managing emotions: Emotional intelligence at its highest level requires properly controlling our emotions. Emotional management includes regulating our emotions and behaving correctly, as well as responding appropriately to the feelings of others.

 The four aspects of this model are ordered according to their complexity, with the more basic processes at the bottom and the more advanced processes at the top. Perceiving and expressing emotions, for example, are at the lowest levels. Higher levels, on the other hand, necessitate more cognitive engagement and emotional regulation.


A crucial aspect of emotional intelligence is cognizance, which is the ability to understand and perceive one’s own feelings. Being attentive to how your behaviors, moods, and emotions impact others goes beyond merely acknowledging your feelings. You need to be able to monitor your emotions, acknowledge different emotional reactions, and accurately identify every feeling to become self-aware. Individuals who are self-aware are attentive to the connections between their feelings and their actions. These individuals perceive their skills and weaknesses, are receptive to new information and experiences and are willing and able to learn from their relationships with others. In keeping with Goleman, self-aware individuals have a decent sense of humor, are secure in themselves and their skills, and are attentive to how others see them.

Tips on how to increase your self-awareness:

  • Invite constructive criticism.
  • • Learn new skills by keeping a journal.
  • • Meditate.
  • • Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.
  • • Ponder your dreams.
  • • Mindfulness may be something you may want to try.
  • • Consider and learn from your past experiences.
  • • Determine your objectives.
  • • Make positive self-talk a habit.
  • • Attempt to cultivate a growth perspective.


Emotional intelligence requires that you be able to regulate and manage your emotions and be attentive to your own emotions and the impact you have on others. This doesn’t mean that you should put your emotions on hold and conceal your true feelings. It simply means you should refrain from reacting in the moment long enough to identify your feelings. It’s all about expressing your emotions in the healthiest way possible. This is what self-regulation is.
 Self-regulators are very versatile in their approach to altering their behavior. They are competent at drawing conclusions and trying difficult ways of managing conflict. Those with excellent self-control are typically very conscientious. They contemplate the effect their activities might have on others and take responsibility for their own conduct.

Tips on the way to boost Your Self-Control

  • Be attentive to your thoughts and emotions.
  • Develop your ability to handle stress.
  • Find techniques to subsume your negative feelings.
  • Consider issues as opportunities.
  • Work on your communication skills.
  • Recognize that you can respond in a variety of ways.
  • Change your thought patterns and emotional responses by psychologically reframing them. 
  • Accept your feelings and work on accepting yourself.


Another key aspect of emotional intelligence is intrinsic motivation. Those who show emotional intelligence are driven by factors apart from financial gain, recognition, and acclaim. Instead, they’re driven to fulfill their demands and objectives. They’re trying to find internal rewards by immersing themselves in certain activities and peak experiences. These individuals are highly competent and typically action-oriented. They are determined to reach their objectives, have a robust need to succeed, and frequently seek strategies to enhance their performance. They have a strong sense of commitment and are capable of taking charge.

Tips on how to boost your motivation:

  • Extrinsic rewards ought to be used sparingly.
  • •Take pride in your accomplishments.
  • Focus on achieving modest, quantitative objectives.
  • To keep things interesting, throw in some challenges.
  • Set goals to assist in the development of intrinsic motivations.
  • To make yourself accountable, team up with a devotee or coworker.


Empathy, the ability to understand how others feel, is an important element of emotional intelligence. However, it entails more than simply understanding others’ emotional states. It also includes how you respond to others, supported by your gathered knowledge. How should you react once you think someone is depressed or feeling hopeless? You should show them a lot of tenderness and concern, or you might create an activity or project to elevate their spirits.
 Empathy allows you to understand the dynamics that usually influence social connections up to a point. This can be crucial for steering your interactions with the varied individuals you meet on a day-to-day basis. For example, people who work for the United Nations are typically very empathetic. They are the ones in a given region who are the most competent in observing who holds the power and what can be done to bring peace. This holds in the business world and all types of partnerships. Those with empathy are aware of the forces that affect the emotions and behaviors of others. As a result, they can accurately assess a range of eventualities involving power dynamics.

Tips on how to develop empathy:

  • Be receptive to sharing your own emotions.
  • Participate in a community initiative or a cause that you believe in.
  • Pay attention to what others are expressing.
  • Practice kindness meditation.
  • Make new friends.
  • Consider putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.

Social skills

Another critical aspect of emotional intelligence is the ability to socialize with individuals. People with good social skills will find interactions with others meaningful while gaining a far better understanding of themselves. True emotional intelligence entails far more than simply comprehending your own and others’ feelings. You need to be able to apply this understanding in your everyday interactions and conversations. Managers in the workplace gain from having the ability to make connections and form relationships with their employees. Staff gains from having the ability to create strong bonds with their coworkers and supervisors. Active listening, verbal and nonverbal communication skills, leadership, and strength are all vital social skills.

Tips on how to enhance your social skills:

  • Ask open-ended questions.
  • Look for icebreakers to help you start a conversation.
  • Pay attention to different people’s social skills.
  • Force yourself to maintain eye contact.
  • Put your social skills to the test.
  • Active listening must be practiced.
  • Show a strong interest in the individuals around you.
  • Pay attention to how others see you.

Here’s the link to my lesson on Emotional Intelligence –

This lesson is a preview

11 Lessons