What Kind of Love do You Show Your Spouse?

Do you claim to love your spouse deeply? Or do you condemn them at their slightest mistakes raining down on them, curses and anger? Imagine how you would feel about God if that was how God treated you every time you made a mistake. 

In this post, we’re going to concentrate on digging deep into God’s kind of love for us and see how we can apply that in our marriages.

Since we don’t have a fence, we have to watch our dog when we put him out to potty. The other day, my wife put him out and forgot she had left him outside. When she remembered him she went outside to look for him and he was nowhere to be found. Our little dog found himself wandering about sniffing different things, peeing everywhere he could, and gradually, wandered off and lost his way from home. Panicking, my wife had to go looking for him. Eventually, she found him. He was all dirty and covered with mud.

Putting this short story into perspective, God loves us with everlasting love. He was born into this world through a virgin. And lived an exemplary life for us to follow. He never sinned so he didn’t deserve to die. But he did, for you and for me. He sent us his Holy Spirit to lead us along this life journey. Yet we still stray away from him. Following after our own thoughts and desires. Yet he still loves us and seeks us out desiring to restore His relationship with us. 

When my wife realized the dog had strayed away, she didn’t say “Oh well, I hope he makes it back, if he doesn’t, what does that matter to me” No, she went to look for him and eventually brought him back home all dirty and muddy. This is just how God loves us! In the Book of Jeremiah 31 verse 3, he called it everlasting love. No matter how far we stray from him, how dirty and how much mess we get into, he still goes seeking after us, calling us back to Himself. Despite our weaknesses, He loves us, He cares about us and he wants us back. That’s the kind of love God has for us and guess what? This is the exact type of love He wants you to have for your spouse!

God wants us to have an everlasting love for each other, especially in our marriages. It’s a kind of love that is gentle. It seeks after the lost, easily forgives, and understands. That’s exactly what God wants in our marriages. 

Often, we become judgmental in our relationships. Just because you’ve lived long enough with your spouse, you feel like you know them like the back of your hand and then, you find yourselves becoming very critical of each other. The next thing, you’re mudslinging at each other and that’s exactly how couples grow apart!

The truth is, we must always remember that we all make mistakes. We all are like cracked pots, nobody is perfect. Just like your spouse, you are also full of imperfections. We’re short-sighted, we can only see what’s in front of us and we forget the past easily. Picking on your spouse’s faults and mistakes, complaining, accusing, and cursing them for their faults is only going to make your marriage hell.

God wants you to love your spouse unconditionally just like he loves you. When infidelity or something egregious has occurred in a marriage, people will say, “how do you put up with that, let him go, you should let her go..” and so on. Don’t listen to them. Listen to God. What is He telling you to do? He probably wants you to show that everlasting love He shows us.

God’s love is merciful, when he says I love you, he means yes, I hate that you hurt me but we can still work things out, I’ll forgive you because I love you. That’s God’s kind of love and we don’t deserve it! That’s the kind of love that changes us, it is the same type of love that can change your spouse, convert their hearts and get them to change from those things that break your heart.

So, despite what you might be thinking right now, it is true that justice is important but then, I believe that love trumps justice. Therefore, I encourage you in your marriage to learn to love just like God loves you. God is calling you today to love each other with an everlasting love, with a fire that is hard to get blown out. And when you do so, your marriage will be blessed.

Picture of Joe Follette, Jr., M.Div., M.S., LMFT

Joe Follette, Jr., M.Div., M.S., LMFT

Joe Follette, Jr., a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 25 years of experience, founded Lifestyle Therapy & Coaching in Huntsville, Alabama. He combines his background as a former pastor with his therapeutic expertise to help adults achieve fulfilling marriages. He works with individuals, couples, families, and more. He offers virtual therapy with programs and courses designed to treat specific challnges. Pick up a copy of his free book, "Don't Give Up On Love," to become a better you in your relationships. Joe is known for his positivity, warm personality, and commitment to helping clients live their best lives. Book a free 15-minute Clarity Call with Joe to begin your journey to healing and growth.

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