Why is it sometimes so difficult to stay in good graces with your spouse?
I have seen over and over again in my own marriage and in many of the couples I counsel that conflict arises over conflicting needs. An example would be one spouse needs some affection right now while the other one needs to get a project done right now. Unfortunately, we are often so focused on our own agenda that we are not paying attention to our spouse’s needs. Once we are offended or hurt, we lash out in anger and end up hurting the other. This is what sparks that tension that some couples find it very difficult to escape.
Compassion is a very important foundation for a strong marriage. Compassion is one of the five foundations of a Sizzling Hot Marriage. With a little compassion, you can turn an offense into an opportunity to meet your spouse’s needs. If you see your spouse is angry at you, don’t become defensive. Take the opportunity to ask them what they are not happy about. Seek to understand what they are feeling rather than expressing how you feel.
Now don’t get me wrong. This approach may feel unnatural. However, if you want change in your marriage communication, an approach like this is necessary.
If you would like some help changing your marriage communication, you may be interested in my virtual marriage retreat coming up Friday, August 26th at 6:00 PM. If you are a high-impact couple seeking to strengthen your marital communication, this retreat is designed specifically for you.